It's election week and thinking about all our favorite politicians across the land keeps us up at night. After so many years of Republican rule it's hard to imagine anything like a victory tomorrow, especially when a perpetual slide-show of Dick Cheney's perma-smirk dances in our heads. Chapati Mystery's medical expert, Dr. Haroun, reports that some of his colleagues believe that Cheney may suffer from Bell's Palsy, which would explain permanent tilt to his facial features. Perhaps he is only able to lift the muscles on the left side of his face and that is why he looks so scary. Further research by our staff has shown that no such ailment has been publicly reported for Cheney (surprise!), although it has been for Ralph Nader. Dr. Haroun points out that Bell's Palsy is not permanent and therefore it could not be an explanation for the smirk, which evidently has been a fixture on the Cheney visage for the last thirty years or more, judging from the little gallery we have put together for you. Dr. Haroun suggests instead that the President of Vice may be afflicted with some more permanent variety of neurological damage, such as the type that his colleague and former hunting partner, Harry Whittington, may now suffer from after his face was sprayed with executive quail shot in February.
COMMENTS
thabet | November 09, 2006
That picture looks more like Chevy Chase then Dickhead Cheney.
lapata | November 09, 2006
Thanks for the art critique, thabet! But, you see, it's the _young_ Cheney. If you look at the slideshow of Cheney pix you will see that in his youth he resembled Chevy Chase, only I think he was built on a smaller scale.
thabet | November 10, 2006
Imagine if Chevy Chase was Vice President...
lapata | November 10, 2006
According to Wonkette, the Republican most likely to be Chevy Chase is actually Gerald Ford.