Found Objects I: Rev Dr. Maulana Riff

Posted by sepoy on July 23, 2008 · 1 min read

Over the weekend, in Hyde Park, I received a flyer from a gentleman of indeterminate age. He was dressed in a garb unfamiliar to me. In his hand, he carried a strange device that, I later learned, recorded his words and deeds for his followers.

When he approached me, I was hesitant. And I tried to hurry myself around him. Yet, something in his eyes arrested me, as I slowed down and extended my hand to receive his flyer. He smiled and said, I have long planned our meeting, here. I nodded my head, as in agreement, though I had no comprehension. I didn't read the flyer, stuffing it in my pocket, and wiping my fingers on my trousers. The ink left a small stain.

He briskly walked away before another word came out of my mouth. And I continued on to mine home.

I have read the flyer and found it to be an inspired work. I attach it below for my gentle readers. Perhaps I will try and find my new acquaintance, once again.

Scan of the Flyer: side 1 and side 2.

also, here:

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Read this document on Scribd: riffflyer

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tsk | July 23, 2008

simply outstanding. i know the author meant it as a serious piece of literature, but it's difficult for me to determine which part contained the most hilarity per paragraph.

Desi Italiana | July 23, 2008

"I have read the flyer and found it to be an inspired work." HA HA HA. HA!

Anil | July 23, 2008

I have read the flyer and found it to be an inspired work. Ummm, I don't think I can handle reading this deep any more. I am blaming it on the Google.

elizabeth | July 23, 2008

This, on the other hand, is the best thing I have seen in many days. I like the small, grizzled German hearts (presumably lining up at the Tiergarten tomorrow?) but those white seductresses with the cloven bosoms and raspberry-scented hair are straight outta Harlequin.

“Let’s be clear - Brutha” Barry O is … Talk Islam | July 23, 2008

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Siddhartha | July 23, 2008

Instant Classic on innumerable levels. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

omar ali | July 29, 2008

Have the five percenters issued any statements about Obama? Their entertainment value and their theology are both superior to Maulana Riff.....

Jonathan Dresner | August 02, 2008