Goofy Guys in Turbans?

David Denby, film critic of The New Yorker magazine, might do well to step out of the movie theater and sit in on a World Religions class. In his review of Gurinder Chadhaís gleeful Bollywood/Hollywood hybrid film Bride and Prejudice, Denby declares: ìin the street bazaars, cross-dressers and goofy guys with turbans break into dance.î†

GOOFY GUYS IN TURBANS? Hm, might he be referencing the SIKHS? Might he be referring to a fundamental, and most visible, part†of the Sikhsí covenant with God? I wonder if he has any idea.† I wonder if Denby would make this claim about the yarmulke, calling the Jews ìwacky guys in the tiny frisbee hatsî or taunt the kooky Catholics for parading around with ash on their foreheads every year?

Its crazy stuff, David, but a turban actually means something. Way before Osama bin Laden made fashion history by sporting this particular swath of fabric, the Sikhs wore the turban to show their devotion to God, and also to organize their never-cut hair. You can learn about all this stuff (and lots more!) when you take your class. And if youíre lucky, one of your†profs will fill you in about those ëcross-dressersí too. (Although hijras face prejudices of their own, some of them bridal.)

Anyway, after recovering from the shock of Denbyís review I wanted to see what the other American print critics had to say about B+P. Reviews fell into†five categories, which Iíll summarize here:
1)†Discussions of the shocking Hotness of Aishwarya Rai;
2)†Musings, mostly boring, on the sad demise and/or glorious rebirth of the Austen Legacy, now that Brown People Seem To Be Getting Involved;
3)†Commentary on the globally recognized Foxiness of Aishwarya Rai;
4)†Confusion/discussion on†whether†B+P is†a Bollywood Film Gone Hollywood, or a Hollywood Film Gone Bollywood;
5) Open proposals of marriage, or other, less wholesome†propositions, to the filmís female lead, Aishwarya Rai

I loved the movie. I loved the movie because, despite the details of Miramax-production or Akhtar-family-produced lyrics, this is a Bollywood movie in English. Who cares about Jane Austenís Legacy on film? I do not.†Who cares about production values? I do not. (Well, not in this discussion, anyway.)† I like this movie because it removed the language barrier that has been keeping Indian musicals out of mainstream American theatresófor better or worse.*† If this trend keeps up, people like David Denby†will realize that those ìcross dressers and goofy guys in turbansî are also known as ìpeopleî.†
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*English-speaking audiences may now relish, unfettered by subtitles, the glory of this lyric:† ìI want a man who gives something back; who talks to me and not my rack!î Massive props to Zoya A. and her pops Javed for this sparkly jewel.
[Reviews reviewed:
_{ìJane Austen Goes Bollywoodî, Teresa Wiltz, The Washington Post
ìBride and Prejudiceî, Annie Wagner, The Stranger
ìBride and Prejudiceî, Roger Ebert, The Chicago Sun-Times
ìBride and Prejudiceî, David Denby, The New Yorker
ìMr. Darcy and Lalita, Singing and Dancingî, Manohla Dargis, The New York Times
ìJane Austen, with a Bollywood spinî, Carrie Rickey, Philadelphia Inquirer
ìBride and Prejudiceî, Peter Travers, Rolling Stone}]

Tagged as: talkies