Welcome to the AARP, Mr. Ben Laden!

Happy Birthday OsamaDear Mr. Ben Laden:

Happy 50th birthday and welcome to the AARP! This is a very special birthday because it qualifies you for membership in one of the fastest growing organizations in the United States, the American Association of Retired Persons. AARP is all about beginnings, and depending on which type of membership you choose, this could be the start of the best years of your life. Whether it’s our monthly Magazine packed with news, entertainment and sage advice (yours with a basic membership package– only $12.50 per month), our powerful advocacy efforts for issues that are important to informed seniors like you and me (such as Medicaid and Social Security), or our fantastic Mature Explorers™ vacation packages and tours, you’ll find that AARP has a little something for everyone.

I know what you’re thinking: “Fifty is still a little young to be contacting me about senior issues, isn’t it?” Well, yes and no. Being an AARP member isn’t just about retirement and assisted living facilities; it’s about making the last years of your life the best years of your life. And with the advances of modern medicine and technology these days, all of us are going to be around a lot longer to enjoy life a whole lot better and smarter than folks much younger than us.

You know that old saying “youth is wasted on the young”? Not anymore. At fifty, sixty, seventy, you could be continuing your education in a monastery in Scotland or at an Elder Seminar™ hosted by a prestigious university anywhere in the world. Pick up those hobbies you always dreamed of…snorkeling in the Arabian Sea…making sand Mandalas in Tibet….big game hunting in the jungles of India. Or finally turn that fantasy love story into a reality by signing up for our Silver Foxes™ dating network.

Helen Mirren, AARP covergirlMr. Ben Laden, we hope you’ll consider signing up for our premium membership (only $59.99 per year), which confers an exciting list of benefits you’re sure to love. And make sure to flip through this complimentary copy of our latest Magazine featuring senior mega-star and AARP cover-girl Helen Mirren, 62. Articles such the the cover story on Mirren, who recently won an Academy Award™ for her amazing portrayal of Queen Elizabeth II, 81, keep you up to date with the inspiring accomplishments of seniors all over the world.

Thank you, and welcome to the AARP Family™!


Bill Novelli, CEO, AARP, & fellow senior

Author: lapata

Daisy Rockwell paints under the takhallus, or alias, Lapata (pronounced ‘láh-putt-áh’), which is Urdu for “missing,” or “absconded,” as in “my luggage is missing,” or “the bandits have absconded.”

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