what is the vertiginous chapati saying to me?

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Found Objects I: Rev Dr. Maulana Riff

07.23.08 | by sepoy | 8 Comments

Over the weekend, in Hyde Park, I received a flyer from a gentleman of indeterminate age. He was dressed in a garb unfamiliar to me. In his hand, he carried a strange device that, I later learned, recorded his words and deeds for his followers.

When he approached me, I was hesitant. And I tried to hurry myself around him. Yet, something in his eyes arrested me, as I slowed down and extended my hand to receive his flyer. He smiled and said, I have long planned our meeting, here. I nodded my head, as in agreement, though I had no comprehension. I didn’t read the flyer, stuffing it in my pocket, and wiping my fingers on my trousers. The ink left a small stain.

He briskly walked away before another word came out of my mouth. And I continued on to mine home.

I have read the flyer and found it to be an inspired work. I attach it below for my gentle readers. Perhaps I will try and find my new acquaintance, once again.

Scan of the Flyer: side 1 and side 2.

also, here:

riffflyer - Upload a Document to Scribd
Read this document on Scribd: riffflyer

Use the slider/zoom to read.

8 Comments

  1. On 07.23.08 tsk:

    simply outstanding. i know the author meant it as a serious piece of literature, but it’s difficult for me to determine which part contained the most hilarity per paragraph.

  2. On 07.23.08 Desi Italiana:

    “I have read the flyer and found it to be an inspired work.”

    HA HA HA.

    HA!

  3. On 07.23.08 Anil:

    I have read the flyer and found it to be an inspired work.

    Ummm, I don’t think I can handle reading this deep any more. I am blaming it on the Google.

  4. On 07.23.08 elizabeth:

    This, on the other hand, is the best thing I have seen in many days. I like the small, grizzled German hearts (presumably lining up at the Tiergarten tomorrow?) but those white seductresses with the cloven bosoms and raspberry-scented hair are straight outta Harlequin.

  5. On 07.23.08 » “Let’s be clear - Brutha” Barry O is … Talk Islam:

    [...] 03:20:30 pm on July 23, 2008 | # | | SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ““Let’s be clear - Brutha” Barry O is …”, url: “http://talkislam.info/2008/07/23/lets-be-clear-brutha-barry-o-is/” }); Tags: humor, Obama, racism “Let’s be clear - Brutha” Barry O is light-skinned, and is therefore preferred by the blu….” [...]

  6. On 07.23.08 Siddhartha:

    Instant Classic on innumerable levels. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  7. On 07.29.08 omar ali:

    Have the five percenters issued any statements about Obama? Their entertainment value and their theology are both superior to Maulana Riff…..http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Nation_of_Gods_and_Earths

  8. On 08.02.08 Jonathan Dresner:

    Wow.

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