As the Wolfowitz Turns

In a move apparently designed to give instant aneurysm to anarchists everywhere, The Chosen One announced that Wolfowitz shall head the World Bank. There are many ways to read this development. The first, and most obvious, reading is that this is a deliberate road-block thrown to subvert the pre-ordained beatification of Bono. The White House had to have been worried sick about the true heart of Bono forgiving all loans to Africa or something. In Wolfowitz, they have found someone who won’t just raise the interest rate but invade Africa to collect from World-Bank-loan-defaultin’-Mercedes-driving-Warrior-Kings.

The second, more nuanced, reading is that the Bush Doctrine is undergoing metamorphosis. From a hungry, hungry caterpillar of war to a sweet, little butterfly of democracy. The softening on Iran and the carrot/stick on Syria could presumably be seen as signs of non-aggression. We all know that Wolfowitz wanted Syria and Iran. If those invasions were still on the table, there is no way that Wolfowitz, the intellectual commander, could leave. But why? Well. About three weeks after the second inauguration, every President hears the word Legacy. Bushies, working on their own beatification project, are looking at a monotonous insurgency in Iraq, trillionish deficits and a Social Security Reform that is as popular with comedians as Clinton’s Health Care Reform. So how does The Chosen One cement a lasting Rooseveltian legacy? Have freedom march across Middle East, yo. Go all tough diplomacy. James Bolton to UN; Basmati to State; and pack Wolfowitz off to glitzy dinners.

But, I can’t even begin to do a real analysis. Y’all should go see Praktike or Caleb. They will have the dope stuff. Lately, the only thing I can think of is the ‘Insha literature in thirteenth century India. You guys want to hear about rasail, maktubat, mufawazat, manshur, fath-nama? Me neither. Yet, I have to write this damn chapter/conference paper which has to be delivered on Monday to the founding members of American Orientalist Society [1842]. I am a proud and recent member of said organization. You are allowed to be jealous.

Also, on tap are some changes for CM. Be forewarned.

update: Praktike and Caleb come through like the champions of blogging that they are. Also, from inside the beltway came word that this post was mentioned on CNN TV. Anyone? Oh. I found the transcript. Larry King, I am free friday night.

16 Replies to “As the Wolfowitz Turns”

  1. Pingback: The Acorn
  2. it would have been really exciting to have Bono as World Bank Prez, nu?
    (It would also presumably have stopped him from turning out the crap music he did for the last album… )
    So, I’m so in mourning.
    But aap to badi cheez ho gaye hain… or to translate, you’re the big cheese of the blogosphere now.
    conratulations, mubaarkan and all that…

  3. Caleb: It would be inappropriate but, in the spirit of Chapotty, to proclaim: My heart’s desire is to make it on Wonkette.

  4. It’s like Chapati meets the Vernacular Body…


    It must be thrilling to have gotten that mention, Sepoy.

    Wolfie, I hope you were watching, you bastard.

  5. Caleb: First off. Chapotty Mystery was SO the name I should have gone for. All thanks to the “rushed” transcript [is that being outsourced to India, too?].
    Second, fame is an old bedfellow. MSNBC, Slate and Salon have all looked to Sepoy [famous people use third person, we gather] for insights about this world we live.
    Third, I really want to know what their google search terms were.
    And finally, “can the MSM be so silly?” HAHAHAHAHA. Thanks for the laugh, dude.

  6. Whoa, Sepoy! CNN! No offence to the world-historical importance of Chapati Mystery, but does this kind of make you wonder what MSM producers do when they say “time once again to check in on the blogosphere”? They enter in a few key words into Google and read it live? With no acknowledgment of the satirical tone of your post? They just say you think Wolfowitz will invade Africa? Can they DO that???? Can the MSM be so silly???? Can they? CAN THEY? (Sorry, but treasured illusions are being shattered here.)

    Also, the whole idea of a “blog reporter” is kinda funny, don’t ya think?

    Oh well, I guess it beats playing pre-prepared videos from the State Department.

    Congrats on the nod! Also love the pronunciation spelling of the site name. I always knew you were a “potty” mouth.

  7. Aw, man, the tranny is the best part:

    The other one, kind of more humorous, over at Chapotty Mystery (ph). And they’re talking about — they call it as the Wolfowitz turns. And they’re talking about the “L.A. Times” nomination of Bono, the U2 frontman, as the head of the World Bank. In their eyes, he would be a good choice. And they said that would have the White House scared. And what they’re saying is that Bono would have forgiven all loans to Africa or something. And in Wolfowitz, they found someone who won’t just raise the interest rate, but he’ll invade Africa.

    Very strange, this “television.”

  8. Zia: As a historian, I hate saying “History Repeats Itself…tragedy, farce, yadayada”. So I won’t. But props to DW.

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